Dagon Priests
Vital statistics
Race Philistines
Age Various
Height Various
Weight Various
"Do soldiers now presume to interpret the signs of Dagon? It's not your place to question the edicts of the temple priesthood!"
The temple priests scold Sidon for daring to question the temple priests' authority in reducing the Hebrews' grain tribute to the Dagon temple[src]

The Dagon priests are the earthly servants of the Philistine god Dagon. They interpret religious signs and omens for their people in the Dagon temple at Gezer. The Philistines hold the Dagon priests in high regard, and in some ways, the priests have more political authority than even military leaders such as Sidon.

When Zarah learns that three young mischief-makers, Zackeus, Yehude, and Mizraim, have plastered the Gezer idol in the temple of Dagon with mud as an act of political resistance, she quickly realizes that she must cover up the vandalism before Sidon finds out and issues harsh reprisals against the Hebrews of Gezer.

With the help of her brawny half brother Branan, Zarah manages to transport the colossal idol down to the river where they splash the statue clean of the mud. Unfortunately, just before the offspring of Samson are able to sneak the god back into its temple, Branan loses his grip and the idol slips back down into the mud. Now, the idol is even filithier than it was when they started. In their haste to return the begrimed idol to its dais within the temple, Zarah and Branan replace Dagon facing the wrong way.

Providentially, however, one of the Dagon priests had a strange dream the night before that the Hebrew God brawled with Dagon and rained rotten produce down on him. The two priests analyze the dream as they enter into the temple and discover their god covered in mud and facing the wrong way. Interpreting the condition and placement of the statue as a sign that the the grain tributes the local Hebrews have been required to pay are overly punitive, the Dagon priests order the grain tributes to be reduced by half, drawing the ire of the Jew-hating Philistine commander Sidon.

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